A Trans Woman's Response to Trisha Paytas | Kat Blaque


Comments • 2 313

  • Kat Blaque
    Kat Blaque   6 days back

    So to be clear, I’m reacting to one repeated reasoning I’ve been given for some people who self ID as non binary or gender fluid (yes I know these things are not the same). I said I didn’t understand it, but that doesn’t mean it’s invalid.

    In short, “I’m non binary because I’m non binary” makes more sense to me than “I’m non binary because I’ve never been able to fit into my gendered expectations”. I don’t think people need to give a grand reason for being transgender and sometimes when they give that one it confuses me because I see those things as objects we gender, not the make of break part of gender. So I just simply don’t know. That doesn’t mean it’s not valid.

    There are so many reasons people are non binary, I didn’t present this as the only reason.

    • kaiyodei
      kaiyodei  1 days back

      but that is how so many people come to the conclusion of their gender, or invent something like eastgender

      but isn't that also one step to discovering one is not cis? isn't that one step to self hypnosis into assuming one is not cis?

      MACKENZIE POTTS  2 days back

      I think you look very pretty without make up!

  • Wendi Chiquirio
    Wendi Chiquirio  50 minutes back

    🍃 Thank you for making this video, it made me feel better to listen to an in depth discussion of so many topics together. Your video helped me see more that it is okay to discuss and be confused by gender.
    I have struggled with understanding gender because I feel uncomfortable with the traditional expectations of performing womanhood, and I have a huge lack of confidence preventing me from being myself. I also found myself really confused by some stories of transgender people pointing out that they liked things of the opposite gender when they were kids; it just didn't feel like I could fit in. I think I have always liked the third option: boys like cars, girls like dolls, and I liked Legos, you know? And like that was okay for me, but I don't have the confidence to redefine now what it is to be a woman for me and show that to my environment. I am a feminist too and I am uncomfortable by the patriarchy, by the expectations that a woman's body is there to serve the system of patriarchy; many times I find myself really uncomfortable with my body, sad feeling like I have to work in that system if I want anybody to want me. I am upset at the system that would reward me if I were the perfect performance of womanhood while being assigned female at birth. I don't want to be a woman, and I do not identify as transgender or non-binary. I am just confused and taking a break to figure myself out; slowly I am learning that this is valid as well.

    • Rezki Kaci
      Rezki Kaci  57 minutes back

      being someone who, like your partner, is comfortable and fine being read as a man and living life as a man but also identifying as nonbinary, i think i understand why someone who doesnt perform the standards of their assigned or assumed gender feel like that gender isnt theirs. personally, i dont see gender as an inherent thing. the "gender is a social construct" thing definitely rings true to me. if i didnt live in a society with standards of man vs woman, in a society built around rigid roles of a gender binary, then i wouldnt have or perform any gender. i know many people will disagree, and i respect that, but i dont think anyone is born as any gender or is inherently any gender because it doesnt make sense. gender is something we are taught. its a performance, an act, a social role.

      for that reason, when someone doesnt perform the social role, when they dont engage with any of the standards of that social role... then its very alienating. its hard to identify as something that you just dont live. how do we define a gender outside of the role it occupies in society? thats not to say people who do identify as men and women and dont fill the expected gender roles arent really men or women - but its understandable why someone who in no way fills the roles of a gender doesnt fill like they are that gender, because it just may not feel like theres anything linking them to that gender outside of... someone else assigning it to them. if they dont perform it or identify with it then whats the link but birth assignment?

      personally, im not publicly out as nonbinary or anything, because it doesnt impact my life. i wouldnt call my nonbinary identity a trans identity or experience. i live as a man, im read as a man by everyone, im very gender-conforming, the most gender non-conforming thing about me is im bisexual and i dye my hair. but i also dont identify as a man. its just something i perform. in fact i wish i could be divorced from gender entirely. i wish i could be viewed, perceived and understood outside gender entirely. i dont identify with "man", thats just my role in society. thats why i say i *am* a man, but i *identify* as nonbinary.

      so, basically, gender is performance art and i wanna take a lunch break.

      • Ainara McInerney
        Ainara McInerney  1 hours back


        • Colonel Bean
          Colonel Bean  2 hours back

          I always been a tomboy. I don’t like dresses/make up. (Even when pressured) It’s just not me, people have different likings/personality regardless of their gender.

          • Ashley Taylor
            Ashley Taylor  2 hours back

            im gonna be a bat for halloween lol

            • Calibri
              Calibri  2 hours back


              • blueeyedgirl 19
                blueeyedgirl 19  2 hours back

                I love trisha because she HUMAN!! But alot of her ideas of what trans,gay,lesbian,having alot of male friends is confused the hell of me, but maybe i am supposed to be confused.. she seems to love gay guys but they dont love her back like that... she thinks maybe if she a gay trans male they might love her in that way..

                • teambarbie4life
                  teambarbie4life  3 hours back


                  • Left Lane
                    Left Lane  3 hours back


                    • Jess Wagstrom
                      Jess Wagstrom  3 hours back

                      I'm speaking as a 100% super cis female, but watching my wife transition and learning what I can about nonbinary genders has given me a lot to chew on. And honestly, identifying as 100% super cis almost lends more validity to nonbinary identities to me.

                      I've spent my whole life feeling like I'm not very good at "being a girl" - IE, performing a feminine gender. I suck at makeup and while I appreciate it on others, I think it's a waste of time for me. (I especially hate trying to do anything with my hair.) I hate shopping, it always makes me feel depressed. I could never figure out the appeal in climbing the social ladder in high school. I didn't care about the "latest celebrity gossip" or whatever. All the things that the popular girls at school, the ones who screamed femininity, seemed to do/care about.

                      But learning about trans and nonbinary genders didn't set off any "aha" bells for me. It didn't feel any more right than just being a girl. It felt like an unnecessary shift to make. Being a girl, regardless of how I perform it, has always felt correct. For me, that's proof enough that if someone hears about nonbinary gender identities and something clicks for them, something makes them feel more at home in their skin, there's probably something to that.

                      I relate it to when I discovered I'm bisexual. It seemed like this thing people just said they were for attention, people who couldn't decide if they were "gay" or "straight". But I couldn't get the concept out of my mind. And I couldn't ignore how I couldn't stop staring at certain women, telling myself, well I just appreciate their aesthetic. I couldn't ignore that I had dreams about making out with women and wanted to try it in real life. And on and on and on.

                      Finally realizing that bisexuality is a legitimate sexuality and something it's okay to be was a big game changer for me, and helped me feel a lot more comfortable in my own skin. I'd imagine it's the same for nonbinary people. That feeling of, hey, I don't actually have to choose, it's okay to feel this way and there's a name for it. Even if the only way they can express that is by saying they've never jived with their designated birth gender, something still clicked and felt right to them about identifying that way. I think it's a spectrum of internal gender vs. gender performance that we're still getting a feel for as a society.

                      • Lydia M
                        Lydia M  4 hours back

                        YOU ARE SUCH AN INSPIRATION, you're my role model💜 I aspire to be as feminine as you

                        • Wicked Willow
                          Wicked Willow  4 hours back

                          You look like such a Goddess with that outfit and hair girl! ♥️

                          • cmbdragon 666
                            cmbdragon 666  4 hours back

                            It's definitely a bit funny tbh that as an elementary schooler, I had a very similar idea that I wouldve been much better off as a boy, because I didnt fit the square box of a "traditional girl". I had this whole laundry list of reasons, me dressing like a tomboy, acting like a tomboy, not having a single real crush on a guy, and only saying I did to appease my classmates, being more interested in girls, and wishing I could just have crushes on girls and nobody would think that's weird.
                            Like before I knew being a lesbian was a thing, my first instincts were to wish I was a boy, so it's just. Interesting, that someone can come to a similar conclusion, but have all these resources to really help them take an introspective look into themselves.
                            Nowadays, I dont know if I am cis, or possibly nonbinary, but to be frank, I'm fine being addressed as a woman, I'm happy being mistaken as a boy occassionally. All that sincerely matters to my identity atm, is that I'm just a lesbian, through and through.

                            I hope Trisha can find the time and resources to help bring together her thoughts into a more cohesive, and solid conclusion one day. I think she has lots to learn, in general, about herself, the trans community, and how to express what exactly she's been feeling

                            • Trine
                              Trine  4 hours back


                              • Leah Acevedo
                                Leah Acevedo  5 hours back

                                Wood nymph, you should be for Halloween. Just need gait rings

                                • smileycyd
                                  smileycyd  5 hours back


                                  • Opri
                                    Opri  6 hours back

                                    🍃Lots of love from Finland Kat! 🇫🇮

                                    • ZoeAlleyne
                                      ZoeAlleyne  6 hours back

                                      🌱? 💚?🍃 found it!

                                      • ZoeAlleyne
                                        ZoeAlleyne  6 hours back

                                        Thanks for your input Dr Isley

                                        • Shannon Wiggins
                                          Shannon Wiggins  6 hours back

                                          Using non-binary to get out of people trying to shove you into stereotypical boxes for male and female feels like conceding ground to the people who enforce those stereotypes. But at the same time, I don't think most enbies are doing this. I think it's as you said and this is just how a lot of people explain (to theirselves even) why they aren't the gender they were assigned.

                                          For me, the reason I feel like I'm non-binary pretty much boils down to I never felt like a girl and when I originally thought I might be a trans man, that didn't really fit, either. Non-binary just clicks in my head. Anything else I add is just me responding to the expected follow-up question "Well what do you mean you never felt like a girl!"

                                          There's also the fact that I have a hard time grasping what gender even means. It's just kind of a meaningless term to me. It just seems to be a bunch of stereotypes that other people try to force on you. Binary trans people really confuse me sometimes when I think about it because of this but I recognize that not being able to conceptualize something myself doesn't mean that another person can't feel/think differently. I just take people at their word

                                          • Eva Massey
                                            Eva Massey  6 hours back

                                            After seeking out trans perspectives to me it seems like most cis people experience gender through gendered expectations while trans/nb people seem to experience it as something intrinsic and separate from learned behaviors. I think because we as cis people have never had to think about our gender on that level, wanting to be free of gender norms can lead to confusion because that's what we believe gender "is", when it's much deeper and independent of one's likes and dislikes/presentation.

                                            • Lily Shimizu
                                              Lily Shimizu  8 hours back

                                              I seriously vibe with this video and I share the same confusion with folks identifying as NB seemingly just because they don’t participate in every stereotypical gender role. For example I definitely don’t fit a lot of female expectations and I feel I express myself in a very genderless way a lot of the time, so it would probably not come as a surprise to many of my friends if tomorrow I decided that I identify as non-binary, but tbh my genderless presentation and feelings really don’t make me feel like I’m not a woman, as I believe ultimately that the individual should be allowed to express themselves however they want regardless of gender, to me the possibilities are limitless. And isn’t that a big point of what feminism is fighting for? To be allowed to be yourself and express yourself as you please regardless of assigned gender? So I am entirely comfortable with being seen as and addressed as a woman and I don’t feel pressured to be more stereotypically female because of it. If anyone has a problem with my version of womanness then that’s on them, and if anyone tries to tell me I should do something this way or that way because I’m a woman then I stand firmly against them and I shake it off. That being said, I understand that someone can have near identical feelings and opinions about gender as me and perform gender in very much the same way I do but where we differ is that perhaps that someone else might not feel comfortable holding onto the label of being a woman. I might not understand why they feel they can’t be a woman just because they don’t subscribe to enough “female” typical things but I know that what’s important is that we respect each other and our pronouns.

                                              • Char Shallot
                                                Char Shallot  8 hours back


                                                • sexuallyambiguouspotato


                                                  • ZeeZee OnTop
                                                    ZeeZee OnTop  10 hours back

                                                    Trisha is as much a man as Jessica Yaniv is a woman🙄

                                                    • Maddie
                                                      Maddie  10 hours back

                                                      This is why I like the butch-femme scale in the lesbian/wlw community. One can be butch, ie doing many things and presenting in a way more typically masculine, without not being a woman. Some days you can be more butch and others more femme, but that doesn't change your pronouns, just how you want to look or act in that moment. From what you're saying, it sounds like this person is just a more butch woman. Makeup isn't a prerequisite for womanhood!

                                                      • fruitmonsterfly1
                                                        fruitmonsterfly1  12 hours back

                                                        I think she’s a straight up liar and needs to seek professional help, but I appreciate your compassionate take.

                                                        • raine bee
                                                          raine bee  13 hours back


                                                          • Milani Thomas
                                                            Milani Thomas  13 hours back

                                                            I love your hair

                                                            • The LemonyLime
                                                              The LemonyLime  15 hours back

                                                              I think that T has things to say that are interesting/important to note but it’s hard for me to think of Trisha as trans simply because of past videos (e.g. chicken nuggets). I think trying to find reasons for one’s transness could be an indicator that someone is trans. Like yes this person acknowledges just because they have masc traits it doesn’t mean they’re a man but yet they still have this knowledge that they are a man. Thus they’re probably trying to find reasons/logic to justify this internal feeling.

                                                              • The LemonyLime
                                                                The LemonyLime  14 hours back

                                                                I wanna add to your broad spectrum thing too! So your saying that for ex, an afab person doing masc things doesn’t inherently make them male yet them doing fem things like Trisha’s hyper-femininity doesn’t inherently make T a female either. (Which is perhaps what you’ve said).

                                                                All that said I’m still on the fence about T simply because if the constant contradictions and ridiculous assertions of past videos and not necessarily the content of this video. I.e. if anyone else made T’s video I would believe them.

                                                            • Ash Ramirez
                                                              Ash Ramirez  15 hours back


                                                              • local lore
                                                                local lore  15 hours back

                                                                leaf emoji!

                                                                • Love_Lei_Xo
                                                                  Love_Lei_Xo  15 hours back

                                                                  New subscriber here! Thank you for this video.

                                                                  • Megan Huxley
                                                                    Megan Huxley  16 hours back


                                                                    • moondoggie92
                                                                      moondoggie92  17 hours back

                                                                      🍃 I don't have anything to contribute comment-wise, but I always watch your videos to the end unless I get (rudely) interrupted :) love your content!

                                                                      • Interstellar Overdrive
                                                                        Interstellar Overdrive  17 hours back

                                                                        I also read Trysha's video as her being confused, though the way she expressed herself could be damaging for the image of trans ppl outsiders have

                                                                        • Chad Forshee
                                                                          Chad Forshee  17 hours back


                                                                          • Helen Gilbride
                                                                            Helen Gilbride  18 hours back

                                                                            🍃 I really l really enjoyed this video! It is interesting to me because I personally personally identify as a gender queer person and much like how you express being confused about non-binary, people who are binary confuse me! But if that is someone’s truth who am I to tell them their wrong or their feelings are invalid. This video is a great way to open up a conversation and I enjoyed hearing this perspective

                                                                            • Nik Tour
                                                                              Nik Tour  18 hours back

                                                                              Right. I am a straight woman. But I've shaved my head. I wear clothes from the men's section at times. I can move in a masculine way. But I also love pink and glitter and being feminine. I'm just a woman who likes a variety of things feminine and masculine.

                                                                              • Ashley Brown
                                                                                Ashley Brown  18 hours back


                                                                                • Claus Light
                                                                                  Claus Light  20 hours back

                                                                                  🍃 im personally nonbinary bc i dont feel like a man or a woman -- im not comfortable being assigned either. gendered expectations have nothing to do with it, im non binary because im neither. i also id as trans nonbinary specifically since i experience gender dysphoria though (id like to get top surgery when im in a better place financially, for example, but i really cant afford it doing temp jobs at 15 $ an hour since i live in a city and i have to pay rent). gender's just. weird honestly. i fit into gendered expectations for both men and women (i wear dresses and i like video games and cartoons. i sometimes like looking pretty and i sometimes like being lazy, for example) but none of those things MAKE me nonbinary. im nonbinary bc im not a man or a woman, im just nonbinary

                                                                                  • totallu
                                                                                    totallu  20 hours back

                                                                                    Trisha pulling this kind of stuff is the boy who cried wolf at this point, I inherently don’t trust anything she says when she comes out as anything.

                                                                                    It’s not transphobic to immediately distrust a known liar and attention seeking drama queen

                                                                                    • adaria
                                                                                      adaria  21 hours back

                                                                                      🍃 dfab nonbinary she/her pronoun Black woman nd my reasoning for using nonbinary to describe myself is that neither male nor female felt at home to me. there was this tweet from a Black trans woman that said something along the lines of only having colonial language to describe her being trans instead of an indigenous way to describe it because trans woman felt too political and not personal for her. i ditto that because nonbinary is the closest thing in colonial english that i can use to describe how i feel in my body and when i'm out in the world.

                                                                                      • E.J.M. Productions
                                                                                        E.J.M. Productions  21 hours back

                                                                                        🍃 I will always watch till the end, keep doing what you’re doing. 😘

                                                                                        • MiriamClairify
                                                                                          MiriamClairify  23 hours back

                                                                                          🍃 I think that closing thought is exactly the thing, right, that it's really hard to express these things to someone who isn't feeling the same feelings or having the same experiences. I also think it's fine if different people who experience gender very similarly prefer to describe themselves differently from each other. None of this will ever be completely firm and solid. I don't think we can define a clear line where someone is no longer one or the other binary gender.

                                                                                          • Phildo
                                                                                            Phildo  23 hours back

                                                                                            you look a right pillock with them flowers in your hair

                                                                                          • Jenny Skenet
                                                                                            Jenny Skenet  24 hours back

                                                                                            Plus Trisha is a troll that needs treatment